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letters to dead people

Happy Birthday Mr. Darwin

Dear Papa Darwin,

On this, the 200th anniversary of your birth, you’d be happy to know that the theory of evolution by means of natural selection that you developed is now universally recognized as the essential foundation of modern biology, and even schoolchildren learn and understand the modern synthesis that led from those first principles.

Actually, that isn’t true. The modern theory of evolution is the foundation of modern biology, including modern medicine, but despite the great advances in knowledge, a remarkably large proportion of Americans are poorly educated idiots don’t believe it. Something like 42% of Americans believe that life has existed in its present form since the beginning of time, despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

The rest of us make fun of them, but are actually deeply disturbed by the idea that so many people, including candidates for high office, have stated that creationism should be taught in schools. Really, we’re deeply disturbed that this is even a debate.

Our political and educational problems aren’t your fault, of course. I just wanted to thank you for your intellectual curiosity and hard work.

Sincerely,
Sarah

PS I wanted to send this earlier today, but there was a little problem at work. I accidently deleted the entire state of New York. If any of my readers happen to live there, I apologize, and your state will be back by noon tomorrow, better than ever. (I took the opportunity to make some small improvements.)