Heuristic

Clarion write-a-thon and works in progress

Jun 28th, 2014

I submitted four short stories this morning, for a total of five out: I’m feeling rather proud of myself! That makes only two previous subs that are languishing, and both need some work before they’re ready to face the world again. (I have innumerable stories in progress, of course.)

I’m working on a new novel, science fiction set in 10th century al-Andalus, working title Book of Phantoms. Right now I’m in the research and outlining phase, and have one more major plot point to figure out. SO MUCH FUN!

To provide some external motivation, I signed up for the Clarion West Write-a-thon, a fundraiser for the writing workshop. The write-a-thon runs from June 22 to August 1, and my writing goal is to complete a 5000-word outline for Phantoms. (That’s not a very ambitious goal, but the timespan is almost exactly coincident with chemo-radiation, and I wanted to choose something I could manage.) So far I’ve worked on the outline every day since the write-a-thon began, which is pretty good for me. I’m not normally an every day kind of writer. Here’s to external motivation!

If you sponsor me, I will write you a 150-word short story on the topic of your choice.

#SFWApro

Posted in: Writing.

I forgot to mention

Jun 26th, 2014

by Sarah.

1 comment

I meant to include this in my first post.

This morning when I showed up at 7:45 and the techs didn’t know about the change in treatment plan and the new plan wasn’t ready yet anyway?

Not only were they very apologetic, and smooshed me into the schedule very promptly once the plan was ready, they gave me $20 in Sheetz gift cards (convenience store/gas station with a small and surprisingly good cafe).

I’ve mentioned here before how pleased I’ve been with the medical care I’m getting. That’s true of the folks at the hospital cancer center, as well as all the Geisinger people. The gift cards were a nice gesture of apology for their communications screw-up.

Also, the waiting room has cookies.

Posted in: Uncategorized.

Addendum

Jun 26th, 2014

by Sarah.

5 comments

I just got off the phone with the person at the local hospital who’s dealing with BCBS for me, and with BCBS themselves.

BCBS has no explanation for all the delays, and also doesn’t feel any compulsion to answer their online messages in a timely fashion. I messaged them Monday, and nobody had even looked at the message until the woman I spoke to pulled it up while I was on the phone with her.

However, they’ve “made my case a high priority” and have turned it over to a peer-to-peer discussion panel, which apparently includes my own radonc as well as their doctor. This can take up to three business days, and they didn’t start the process until yesterday (??!!), but because “my case is a high priority” it’s possible they will finish the appeal and discussion process by close of business today.

So it’s possible that I’ll be back to IMRT tomorrow morning, but I’m not holding my breath.

Posted in: Uncategorized.

Zap zooie: keeping score

Jun 26th, 2014

by Sarah.

5 comments

I’ve been reading the recent cancer-treatment-insurance travails of people like Zoe Keating and Eugie Foster, and have been both appalled and glad that my insurance company has been reasonable.

Well, so much for that.

First off, I started radiation a week later than planned, solely because my insurance company took TWO WEEKS to get back to my medical providers. I have federal Blue Cross, by the way, which you’d think would be a good service given the bargaining power of the federal government. Starting a week late means that I’m scheduled for treatments DURING PENNSIC, instead of being done the week before, which makes me more than a bit unhappy. It also pushes back my likely surgery date, making my fall plans less feasible. Thanks, BCBS.

I showed up yesterday afternoon as instructed, having started my scary peach pills that morning. I half-stripped and climbed onto the table. My tattoos were augmented by marker lines covered with clear stickers, images were taken, adjustments were made, I was carefully positioned along laser-marked lines.

The tech came back into the room. “I’m going to lower the table. I’m sorry, but your insurance company has denied IMRT as not medically necessary, although they did authorize regular 3D radiation treatment. The radiation team is making a new plan for you, and they’ll be ready by tomorrow.”

What? My doctors want treatment X because it’s the most effective with the fewest side effects, but my insurance would rather not? At least they’ve approved something, unlike Eugie’s case. The decision is being appealed; the immediate plan is to go with the regular economy-grade radiation treatment, and if FedBCBS relents, to switch over to IMRT.

I discussed all this with both the radiation techs and the nice administrator who’s been dealing with the insurance company for me. (I did contact them to complain about the delay in getting approval, but they never got back to me.) I set up a time for this morning, nice and early (they’re unlikely to be running behind if you show up at 7:45).

So this morning, before coffee even, I was again half-dressed and flat on the table. I mentioned the insurance woes to the new techs, not the ones from yesterday. They… hadn’t heard this, and thought they were doing IMRT as originally planned. So rather than go any farther, they went off to check.

Yep. No change in the insurance status, and the 3D plan wasn’t ready yet, but would be in about an hour. They offered to call me when it was (me being unwilling to wait any longer than absolutely necessary), and so I went out for coffee.

It was just about an hour later, and they managed to squeeze me in shortly after I returned to the hospital. The radiation treatment center is always very busy. This time, ZAP.

Score so far:
Times half-naked on the treatment table: 3.
Actual treatments: 1.
Doses of scary peach pills (Xeloda): 3.
Current side effects: mild queasiness; numb fingertips on my left hand from previous chemo. That will be aggravated by the peach poison, but should fade after I’m done with treatment.

I’ve also lost quite a bit of hair, but it was so thick to start with that you can’t even tell. I need to shave my legs a lot less often now, though.

Posted in: Fuck Cancer.

Zap!

Jun 24th, 2014

by Sarah.

5 comments

I start chemo-radiation tomorrow. The cancer center at the local hospital uses IMRT (intensity-modulated radiation therapy). Bzzt zap zoom die die die!

First dose of Xeloda tomorrow morning, first dose of radiation in the afternoon. I’m equipped with Zofran, Imodium, and heavy-duty hand cream.

Posted in: Uncategorized.

Science is slow

Jun 19th, 2014

by Sarah.

16 comments

I still haven’t heard from the radiation oncologist about when I’m actually starting treatment. It should be 7-10 days from last Monday, which is, well, any minute now.

I had my pre-chemo blood work done yesterday anyway. I’m a bit anemic and my white blood cells are a tiny bit low, but neither is anything to worry about, and my platelets are lovely. And this? This is the BEST science:

My CEA is down to 42!

Blood counts or no, I continue to feel better and better as I get farther from my last chemo infusion. My brain is working better: though it’s still an incredible slog to get going on anything, once I get some momentum it’s all good. I may even finish this dratted paper that I’ve been poking at for months. And I walked the dog in the morning for the past three days. Happiest dog ever! The lack of regular dog walking was partly fatigue, but hugely cold sensitivity. I hope now that it’s summer and I’m off the oxaliplatin anyway I can keep up the daily walks. I miss my huge amount of walking. (I walked over 1800 miles in 2013. I haven’t tallied up 2014 so far, but my mileage is greatly reduced.) I’ve been cramming in as much kayaking as possible. I even snuck out after work on Tuesday. Lovely! I’m afraid that the new chemo I start with the radiation will affect my hands and prevent me from paddling, so I’m stocking up on kayak time now.

Posted in: Fuck Cancer.

Fun fact

Jun 16th, 2014

by Sarah.

3 comments

My brain works so much better after not ~~being poisoned~~ having chemo for almost three weeks. I guess there really are slow sneaky cumulative side effects.

This paper is going so much better now!

Sometime this week I start chemo+radiation, so I’m making the most of this brief reprieve.

Posted in: Fuck Cancer.

Thoughts from around the net

Jun 14th, 2014

by Sarah.

2 comments

I’m spending the day puttering and organizing, and have a backlog of links to share so I can get them off my list.

Jay Lake.

A 19th century lock expert. This could be impetus for all kinds of fascinating stories.

More fascinating ideas: how Vermeer’s paintings might have as much to do with optics as art.

I don’t know how people come up with lists like “25 Books Every Writer Should Read.” I’ve read exactly none of them. If I put together such a list, it would be heavily weighted toward SFF since that’s what I write, but with some books from other genres because it’s important to diversify. What would you include?

Laura sent me this story about MRI scans of fruits and veggies, thus reminding me I hadn’t posted it. These are fascinating and slightly bizarre.

Following along botanical lines, Open Source Seeds. I like the idea, though I’m not sure how they differ from heirloom seeds.

And Open Source and do-it-yourself scientific instruments: make-it-yourself spectrometers, and foldable microscopes. I have a spectrometer kit, but haven’t put it together yet.

Posted in: Fuck Cancer, Science, Writers.

My first tattoo

Jun 11th, 2014

by Sarah.

11 comments

Neither artistic nor expressive, unless perhaps expressing “fuck cancer.”

I have three, one high on each thigh, and one center front of my pelvis. They’re all just dots: the hint of an X is the shadow of the Sharpie lines that positioned them. The tattoos will help get the radiation beam lined up, and if I ever need radiation again will permanently mark the location where I’ve already received it.

I went in this week for a quick CT scan and the tattoos. The information obtained goes to the physicists, who will calculate the best angle for the radiation, to target the tumor but miss as much healthy tissue as possible. I also now have a custom-fitted lower body form to keep me in the right position and as still as possible. Precision is hard to obtain when working with human bodies, but they come as close as possible.

They’ll start zapping me sometime next week: x-rays and a linear accelerator. This is some serious science. Every weekday, probably for 28 treatments. It only takes about fifteen minutes, I’m told. Likely side effects include diarrhea, skin burns, and fatigue. The first two should be manageable with medication, and the third by the frequent application of nap-inducing felines.

The radiation will be accompanied by oral chemotherapy, 7 days a week. Xeloda metabolizes into 5-FU in the body, and increases the effectiveness of the radiation. Chemoradiation shrinks the tumor before surgery, but more importantly reduces the likelihood of recurrence at the primary tumor site. I’m all for both of those.

The Xeloda is normally given five days a week along with the radiation, but my oncologist said, “Oh, you’re young and healthy, you can take it on weekends too.” Ugh. Though I do appreciate his aggressiveness. The most likely side effect is a lovely thing called “hand and food syndrome,” not to be confused with foot and mouth, thank you very much. The skin on your hands and feet peels off, painfully. This can be reduced somewhat with B vitamins, lots of moisturizer, and avoiding heat. That’s right, I have a medical mandate to not wash dishes because of the hot water.

So that’s next week’s fun, and more weeks thereafter. To wind up last week’s fun, my gyn-onc says that sometimes a polyp is just a polyp. Okay, she didn’t phrase it that way, but that’s the upshot. No uterine cancer, and unlikely to have Lynch Syndrome rather than plain old garden variety colorectal cancer.

Because this is radiation set-up week, I didn’t have chemo. This is the longest I’ve gone without poisoning since February third. I’m starting to feel pretty good: today I did yoga, worked all day, took the boxer on a two-mile walk, spent 20 minutes mowing the lawn, then cooked dinner and cleaned the kitchen. I’m tired now, but not unduly, and this was very much like a normal day, except that I drove to work instead of walking.

I’m very glad to get a few more days like this before I’m on to the next thing.

Posted in: Uncategorized.

Mixed bag

Jun 6th, 2014

by Sarah.

4 comments

Home from my minor outpatient surgery; everything went just fine. I don’t have any problems with anesthesia, and although I’m not allowed to drive or sign legal paperwork until noon tomorrow I feel like I could if I needed to. They gave me a Percocet scrip, but I have some left over from the port installation surgery if I need it, so probably won’t even bother to fill it. I never need as much pain medicine as they prescribe (I only filled half the prescription after the port surgery), and right now nothing hurts anyway.

They were very prompt; I was in and gowned and hooked up to the IV within half an hour of arriving, only to sit waiting on my bed for another two and a half hours. Once you’re hooked up to all the equipment it’s hard to even knit. SO BORING.

Yesterday’s meeting with the radiation oncology people went well; it was the informational paper-signing meeting. Monday I have another appointment with them, when they’ll start doing actual science. Go science!

And the mixed part: I asked the radiation oncologist about traveling to Tacoma for Complex Weavers, and he agreed that we could work around missing a few days of treatment (radiation is 5 days a week), but my regular oncologist says I can’t miss either radiation or chemo. SO CRANKY. I get to see Laura every two years: we meet up at Complex Weavers and play with string for a few days, and have a wonderful time. Plus, it’s over my birthday, and I was really looking forward to a break and a trip. I’ve done nothing but work and cancer for all of 2014 so far. Instead, I’ll be home having chemo and radiation for my birthday. REALLY NOT AMUSED.

I will just have to do ALL THE TRAVELING after I’m done with treatment, including a trip out to Portland to see Laura. I’ll miss attending the conference, but we can play with string on our own time. At least I’m not scheduled to teach this year.

Posted in: Fuck Cancer.